Posted on January 17, 2009 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
An invaluable question that every leader can use to effectively navigate and improve their relationships, the products they produce, services they deliver, meetings they conduct, the classes they teach, and the transactions they enter into is:
“On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate the quality of our ... (fill in the plank)?”
The following are a number of variations of this same question that can serve a leader very well…
“On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate…
our service?
my teaching/preaching?
our product?
this class/seminar/workshop?
this meeting?
our date/marriage/vacation?
my performance?
my leadership?
my coaching/managing?
my character?
my parenting?"
** Then, any answer less than a 10 always gets this follow-up question: “What would it take to make it a 10?”
The answer to this second question is where the *truly* valuable information comes from. Knowing that a person is dissatisfied is not enough. Knowing, in detail, what will satisfy them in the future gives you the needed information to do whatever it takes to create a winning product, service, or relationship.
Challenge: This week, ask 2 people the first question, (and if needed) the second.
Posted on January 13, 2009 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
One way to create an environment to help propel you toward your dreams or potential is to fill your surroundings with various “icons” which represent and remind you of that dream.
An icon is an image, picture, or likeness that stands for and represents a certain object or idea. For example, in the Eastern Orthodox Church, the icon is generally a flat panel painting depicting a holy being or object such as Christ, Mary, saints, angels, or the cross. A religious icon may also be cast in metal, carved in stone, embroidered on cloth, done in mosaic work, or printed on paper or metal.
Icons serve the purpose of reminding us of that which is most important. As we pursue our dream, we can put pictures that represent our dream in our pocket, home, and office. We can also place quotes on walls and use symbolic objects which help keep us inspired and focused on the dream we have chosen to pursue.
A powerful example of how a simple icon can inspire an individual, or an entire team of individuals, is a wooden sign mounted on the brick wall outside the locker room of Notre Dame’s football team. The sign reads, “Play Like A Champion Today.” The slogan “Play Like A Champion Today” is so synonymous with the University that the rumor is Father Edward Sorin, the school’s founder, received this quote as divine revelation back in 1842. While the exact origin of the slogan is not known, a tradition has developed over the years where each football player will hit the sign as they leave the locker room to make their way onto the football field for a game.
Former player Ryan Harris said of that sign, ”(Whenever I see it) I think ‘Why not? Why not today? Why not this game? Why not right now?’ ‘You came to Notre Dame to be a champion and every time I see it, I think ‘Why not? Let’s go do it!’”
Carlyle Holiday recalls, “The guys take it seriously, so it meant a lot to me. I knew you had to come out with intensity when you hit that sign.”
Former Coach Lou Holtz adds, “Regardless of the won-loss record, regardless of the problems you have, when you walk out on that field you have an obligation to your teammates and the fans to play to the best of your ability - to play like a champion and to think like a champion. But, I also asked my players that every time they hit that sign, to think about all the sacrifices your family has made; your teammates made in high school; the sacrifices your teachers have made; and you also think of the thousands of people who would love to be in your position. Just think about how fortunate we are. All of these thoughts should go through your mind when you hit that sign – ‘Play Like A Champion Today’.”
** That old wooden sign outside Notre Dame’s locker room has inspired many football players through the years to play at their highest level when they walked onto their football field. And we can place similar types of icons in our home, office, wallet, bathroom mirror, or wherever to remind us of our potential, and the need to remain faithful to the dream we have chosen to pursue.
Posted on January 10, 2009 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
I know firsthand that there are few things worse than the feeling of malaise which can overcome someone when their self-esteem and confidence is low.
But it is during these times that I am faced with a choice. A choice to continue wallowing in my fears and low esteem, or to turn my thoughts toward a renewed belief in myself, and in the dreams God has planted in my heart. And though this choice is rarely easy, it never fails to lead me out of the valley and back onto the mountain top, where I again can see the many beauties of this world, and the many blessings in my life.
A quote I keep at the forefront of my mind during these difficult times is “Don’t believe everything you hear – even in your own mind.” - Daniel B. Amen M.D.
This power we have to choose our attitude and belief is reflected in a short poem written on the wall in a concentration camp during World War II. It reads:
I believe in the sun
even when it is not shining
I believe in love
even when I feel it not
I believe in God
even when He is silent.
Do you believe in your potential? Do you believe in the dream God has placed in your heart? How you respond to these questions is a daily choice.
Posted on January 03, 2009 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
The following are a few more ideas for those who (in this new year) want to improve their life and relationships by choosing more positive and encouraging words.
10 Pathways To Positive Speech
#1. Speak No Evil
Say only positive statements. Let words of kindness flow from your tongue. Respond instead of react by carefully editing what you are going to say.
#2. Hear No Evil
Refuse to listen to gossip, slander, and other negative forms of speech. If avoiding the conversation is impossible, have another "positive" topic you can bring up to change the subject.
#3. Don’t Rationalize Destructive Speech
Excuses like “But it’s true” or “I’m only joking” just don’t cut it.
#4. See No Evil
Judge people favorably, the way you would want them to judge you. Remember, if you weren’t there, you don’t know. And, even if you were, you may have missed what happened in context.
#5. Beware of Speaking Evil Without Saying An Evil Word
Even your body language can communicate disrespect.
#6. Be Humble; Avoid Arrogance
This will be your greatest weapon against destructive speech. Recognize the Ultimate Source of your accomplishments.
#7. Beware Repeating Information
Loose lips sink ships. Even positive information needs permission before being repeated.
#8. Honesty Really Is The Best Policy - Most of the Time
Be careful to always tell the truth unless it will hurt others, break your own privacy, or publicize your accomplishments. Strive for honesty in everything you do.
#9. Learn to Say, “I’m Sorry.”
Everyone makes mistakes. If you’ve spoken badly about someone, clear it up immediately. Apologize, ask for forgiveness, and let them know it won’t happen again.
#10. Forgive
If you have been wronged, let it go. The ability to forgive is for your own well being, not just theirs. Those who can forgive live healthier, happier, and less stressful lives.
REVISED FROM - "Gossip: Ten Pathways To Eliminate It From Your Life And Transform Your Soul” - Lori Palatnik & Bob Burg
Posted on December 28, 2008 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
This New Year, would you like to improve your relationships, while becoming a more positive and successful person at the same? If so, then understand (and embrace) that one of the most powerful things you can do to enhance your life is to learn how to control, and positively use, your words.
As you consider your list of New Year resolutions – consider putting on that list “Use Better Words!” The following are simple, yet powerful, ways for doing just that:
1) In various settings, practice choosing encouraging words instead of allowing negative expressions to come from your mouth. Concentrate on the qualities in others that you can affirm – and then choose to speak words that recognize and encourage those strengths and attributes.
Though easier said than done - this alone will do wonders to relieve stress and nurture your relationships. The words we choose can have a lasting effect for good or for evil. Think back when someone said something encouraging to you – or said something nasty. You probably still remember what they said…
This New Year, think about what kind of words you would like to plant in the heart and mind of those around you.
2) Avoid verbal combat. When someone gets angry, or starts to talk in a negative way toward you or others, be more careful how you respond. This year, practice waiting, and then choosing a positive and gentle response. Your reply may well be remembered for the rest of the other person’s life!
Keep in mind
“a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1)
3) Be a little slower to speak. This year, try to listen more than you talk – and in doing do, think a little more about what you’re going to say before you say it. Don’t just blurt out what is on your mind. People who constantly chatter on and on about themselves and/or their opinions strain relationships. In addition, the more you talk, the more likely you will say something you regret later.
4. Work on carefully choosing uplifting thoughts. If you recorded your thinking on a CD, what title would you put on it? Our thoughts evidence themselves sooner or
later in our conversations – for the Bible teaches, “out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.”
5. Pray for wisdom. During the day, offer quick prayers seeking wisdom and guidance in your various conversations. One example of such a prayer is: “Take control of what I say, O Lord, and guard my lips.” (Psalms 141:3)
This year, improve your life, relationships and career by choosing words that reflect wisdom, care, and a love toward others.
** AND EVERYONE – HAVE A GREAT NEW YEAR!!!
Posted on December 16, 2008 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
Competing in the new global economy, restoring stability in tough economic times, and bringing peace to a fractured world will only be accomplished by those with a lion’s heart.
Success will only be achieved when individuals/leaders/organizations are willing to exhibit great courage, strength of character, and commitment toward creating a preferred future – despite the unrest around them.
Without courage, there can be no hope. And without courage, no individual can lead effectively – for others will not be willing to follow. Throughout time, people have been inspired by leaders who take bold initiative, and who are willing to take calculated risks in order to help their organization (and those they lead) pursue a compelling vision and purpose – despite whatever unrest surrounds them.
The world is changing.
This is not a time for the timid. Philosopher Peter Koestenbaum writes, “A courageous leader always claims the power to initiate, act, and risk – for courage means to act with sustained initiative.” And one factor that makes courage possible is in leveraging our human freedom, for “claiming our freedom is the ultimate secret for mastering life.”
Leaders around the world are making daily choices regarding how they will respond to the global situation at hand. Each has the freedom to choose their response. My challenge is for you to choose a posture of courage, hope and initiative as you lean into whatever barriers are preventing you (or your organization) from continuing your journey to the summit of a dream.
Posted on December 11, 2008 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
“Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to develop the talent to the uncomfortable place it leads.” - Abraham Lincoln
Posted on December 06, 2008 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
“Without meaning, human life quickly degenerates. The human person not only wants to live, but also wants to know why to live.” - Henri Nouwen.
Victor Frankl, the psychiatrist who wrote about his experiences in a German concentration camp during the Second World War, shows convincingly that without definite purpose and meaning, our lives will quickly drift toward death. Death spiritually, emotionally, or even physically. On the other hand, it is possible to live through very difficulties and hardships when we believe that there is still someone, or something, worth living for.
As a leader, I want to live, and help others to live a life of meaning and purpose. But this is not always easy to accomplish. Over the years, I have found it remarkable how many people never take time to clarify their unique purpose – to accurately define for what, and why they want to live. They are just too distracted or busy.
It is like the world is conspiring to prevent us from reflecting on this all-important issue, resulting in many people finding themselves very busy… yet quite bored. They have many things to do, and are running to get them all done, but beneath this hectic activity, they wonder if anything is really happening. They sense their life falling into a complex, yet boring routine.
As a leader, we need to continually remind and guide those around us on their quest to define, renew, and center their lives on the solid foundation of meaning, truth, and purpose. This is not easy in this world of distractions, but the first step in helping others live this kind of life is to be living this type of life ourselves.
CHALLENGE: What part of your life needs to be realigned back toward your unique purpose and mission?
Posted on December 03, 2008 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
“The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you’re in control of your life. If you don’t, they will be in control or your life.” – Anthony Robbins
What you link pain to, and what you link pleasure to, will inevitably shape your life. Human beings are not random creatures, everything we do, we do for a reason. We may not be aware of the reason consciously, but there is undoubtedly a driving force behind our daily behaviors and choices. And two of these driving forces are: 1) What we think will provide “pleasure” – and, 2) What we believe will cause “pain.”
For example – Procrastination – when you know what should be done, yet choose not to do it… Why does this happen? The answer is simple: at some level you believe that taking action at this moment would be more painful than just putting it off. (Remember, we will tend to do more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure.) *** Yet, have you ever had the experience of putting something off for so long that suddenly you felt pressure to just get it done? What happened? You changed what you linked pain and pleasure to. Suddenly, not taking action became more painful than continuing to put it off.
If understood, we can use this information to harness the force of pain and pleasure to bring positive change in our lives – for what you associate pain and pleasure to in your life will ultimately shape your destiny.
The truth is that we can learn to condition our minds, bodies, and emotions to link pain or pleasure to whatever we choose. By changing what we associate pain and pleasure with, we can alter our eating, exercise, smoking, anger, spiritual, mental, spending… or other habits in healthier and more positive ways.
Posted on November 29, 2008 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
The conviction to take action in the face of challenge and opposition is what Courageous Leadership is all about. Being a courageous leader does not mean that you act foolishly, but that you balance ethics and reality - with making brave decisions to move you and your organization boldly into the future.
The following are a few characteristics of what Courageous Leaders do:
- Leaders with courage are the first to take steps in a new direction
- Leaders with courage are willing to shed old paradigms for new
- Leaders with courage are willing to take calculated risks
- Leaders with courage are true to themselves - and not to what others want them to be
- Leaders with courage listen to their gut
- Leaders with courage are willing to step into their fears
- Leaders with courage act with respectful determination
- Leaders with courage stand firm in spite of varying opposition
- Leaders with courage honestly share their convictions with others
- Leaders with courage live out their values
- Leaders with courage choose to pursue their dreams
“Where you need to go - you have probably never been before and the chances are not too many people have gone there either. The road is sometimes long, scattered with many challenges and worst of all, can seem incredibly lonely. It will call for courage on your part. Many great leaders paid the ultimate price due to the fact that they had the courage to challenge the status quo – Martin Luther King, Gandhi, John F. Kennedy, … the list is endless. Their courage carried them to their graves. Welcome to the world of courageous leadership.” (Kairos International)
Challenge: What step of courage do you need to take?
